Fix You
by lokiofassgard
Summary: What if Cam didn't die after his suicide attempt? What if he survived? (please review and let me know what you think)
1. Chapter 1

_And if you cared about her – at all – you'd get out of her life. **Forever. **_

The words Zig had spoken, echoed inside of Cam's head. It was like they were tattood to the inside of his brain, he couldn't get it out of his head. It just keept playing on replay, over and over again, going in loops. It played together with everything else that had happened that day, and the day prior, like one big movie.

_Stop being so selfish! Hockey is more important than your stupid junior high drama. The whole team is coutning on you, Cam. **You!** Get your head on man! And stop crying where everyone can see you, it's embarrasing. _

He shook his head, trying to shake the memories off, but he failed miserably. He was sitting in the green house at the school while everyone had lunch. The reason why he wasn't in school with everyone else was because he was expelled for a week, after he had attacked Zig.

_You went crazy. _

Maya. He had forgotten to tell her that he couldn't meet her for lunch today. Not after the little collision he had, had with Zig less than 5 minutes ago. The thing was, Zig was right. He was a psycho. Maya didn't deserve him. And she would be much better off without him in her life.

The thought had crossed his mind before. Ending it all. But he had never been able to take the final step. He felt like he at least owed it to his family. But they were hundred miles away, and he felt so alone in the empty green house.

Everything had went downhill after he had returned from visiting his family. He has now sure that Dallas hated him. Maya too. And also Zig – not like that was any surprise, but it was more than Cam could take. He wasn't used to people hating him. Back home he had friends, and he got a long well with everyone. But here, at Degrassi, it was different. He felt left out by the Hockey team, and he didn't felt like they disliked him. And everyone from the school only wanted to be his friends because he was known as the "young talented, rising hockey star". The only one who didn't seem to care was Maya. And now he had messed it all up.

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Then he got his phone out of his pocket and texted Maya.

"_I'm not coming. Sorry. It's over."_

She would think he meant their relationship, but actually he was talking about his own life.

He took in another deep breath and wiped the freshly fallen tears off his cbeeks. He then opened his hockey bag and got out one of his skates. He was supposed to go to Hockey Practice today, after school, but plans had changed...

He remember when he had accidently hurt himself with the skate, after throwing it across the lockers room. He remembered how good it had felt – the pain. But he had quickly brushed the thought away, ashamed of himself for even thinking that. But it had actually helped him clear his head, because when he was focused on the pain he wouldn't be able to overthink everything or panic.  
He also remembered the time he had jumped down from the railing and broken his arm. He had done it so he could spend more time with Maya and skip hockey.

Yes, this felt like a good way to end it. Like it had started. With hockey.

Thankfully it was Spirit Week and he knew no one would be using the green house for the whole week. And more importantly, no one would be around before in at least 4 hours when the students would be leaving the school.

He rolled up the sleves of his hoodie and closed his eyes. _So this is it, _he thought to himself.

And before he could begin to have second thoughts or chicken out, he slid the blade of his skate across his skin. Then one more time. And again. He started doing it more and more aggressively. Until he was hacking the blade into his arm. He kept going until the blood was dripping down on the floor and he was starting to get lightheaded. He wouldn't be able to do it on his other arm, but he this arm would be enough. He was losing enough blood to die, _soon. _

He slowly slipped down on to the floor and rested his back against a wall. He then closed his eyes and waited.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **I cannot remember everything that happened in Bitter Sweet Symphony, or how it happened. So I'm just writing what I remember and then making a bit up – so i'm sorry if any of this is wrong. Just go with it...

Also thank you so much for your reviews, it really means a lot to me that you liked it. I hope that I can live up to the intro, since you liked it so much :)

* * *

**2. When You Feel So Tired But You Can't Sleep**

_'__I can't believe I'm not lying in my warm bed right now,'_Alli thought to herself the next morning when she parked her car at the school. It was early. Way too early.

There were almost no cars parked at the parking lot and the school looked empty.

She had barely slept all night. She was still shocked over Cam, storming into the empty class room she was sitting in, the other day. He had been crying and been upset, but she had done the best she could to cheer him up and give him some advice. He had told her that Dallas had been yelling at him, which meant that he was – one- of the reasons why he was so upset. She couldn't believe that she had actually considered dating that guy, despite everyone telling hr to stay away from him. He was a bully, a player and he was arrogant. She knew better know.

He had tried to call her, but she had turned him down, telling him that their bet was off. She didn't want to date him anymore. He had been surprised and tried to convince her that he was a nice guy, but she had already made up her mind.

She had been lying in her bed all night, trying to fall asleep, but she couldn't. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about Cam and Dallas, and when the sun finally rose she gave up, and got ready for school.

It was now 6:40. And school didn't start before 8 o'clock.

She decided to go the greenhouse, where she would read one of the books she had been assigned, because she was graduating a year earlier.

When she got to the greenhouse she could sense that something was wrong. And she was confirmed, when she opened the door.

The first thing she saw was blood. **Too much blood.** The next thing her eyes fell upon was the body. It took her a while to realise who it was because her brain was in shock. But when she finally figured it out she got even more shocked. **It was Cam. **

"Oh God," she whispered. She threw her book and bag to the ground and quickly ran to Cam.

"Oh my God," she repeated. That was all she could manage say. Her mind was blank. But she knew that she had to act quickly, so she snapped out of it the best she could. "Cam? Can you hear me?" she said louder. There was no answer.

She checked his pulse on his neck. His skin was cold and for a minute she thought he was dead, but then she felt it. It was slow and almost none excisting.

She quickly took off her scarf and bandaged the arm where she could see the blood was coming from. She then got out her phone and dialled 911.

"911 what's your emergency?" a calm but sharp voiced said on the other line.

Alli quickly started telling the lady about Cam and his condition. The lady asked her for the adress and then told her that they would send an ambulance immediately. She said that they would be there as fast as possible. Alli thanked her, and they then ended the conversation.

"WEE-OO WEE-OO!" The ambulance had finally arrived.

Alli quickly stood up and opened the door to she shed so they could see where she was.

"Over here!" she yelled. They two ambulance men started running but Alli didn't feel like it could go fast enough. They were carrying a stretcher between them. It was for Cam.

When they finally got to him they quickly lifted him up on the stretcher and inspected his arm. They asked Alli a few quick questions and then ran back towards the ambulance. Alli followed them and asked if she could ride with them. But they said that there wasn't room enough.

Instead, Alli followed them in her own car. Which also was easier, when she had to get home.

When she got to the hospital they told her to wait in the waiting room. When she was sitting in a chair in the waiting room she finally let out a long breath. And allowed herself to panic. The tears began streaming down her face.

She was only now starting to realise what had happened. And the different scenarios started taking form in her head. Trying to make out an explanation.

_How did he end up on that floor? Did someone attack him?_

But Alli already knew that no one had _attacked_ Cam. _He_ had done it to himself. She closed her eyes and remembered when he had burst into the class room.

_I'm tired. I just wish that I could go to sleep and never wake up._

But that day Alli hadn't thought that he was being serious. People tend to overreact when they are upset, actually she tended to do that herself. That's one of the parts of being a teenager. But she didn't know that he would actually do it. Actually kill _try _killing himself. Because he hadn't succeed. At least not _yet _anyways. All she could do right now was to wait for the nurses to come back with updates.


End file.
